On Keeping Up With the Kardashians Season 9 Episode 14, Brody Jenner got awkwardly turned on by Kim Kardashian and Kris and Bruce argued a lot.
We could stop the recap right there, but in the interest of paragraphs …
It’s hard not to sympathize with Brody Jenner here. First your father marries Kris Jenner, causing a decades-long rift between the two of you.
Then your stepsister Kim Kardashian turns into … Kim Kardashian.
While the rest of the group went zip-lining and took in the stunning Thailand surroundings, Kim was preoccupied by taking a book of selfies for ‘Ye.
Many of which features full-on boobs and nips hanging out.
Putting aside the fact that it’s not really a selfie if your ASSISTANT TAKES THE PHOTO for you, it’s kind of cute that Kim takes them for her man.
(It’s also cute when an elephant attacks her in the process).
Less cute? When your family members walk in on this, especially family that isn’t related by blood, and therefore might find it a little too titillating.
One can see how Brody Jenner, as a straight male, could not get the image of his stepsister basically making love to a water fountain out of his head.
When he discovered this, she was horrified. He was giggling.
Give Brody credit for honest as he described the experience to his brother, admitting that the bizarre experience left him with “Half chub” status.
Which, according to the Urban Dictionary, means “a half erect penis, either a result of being only partially aroused, or being paranoid of being caught.”
Makes sense, really, considering the subject matter …
This is a photo of Kim Kardashian’s cleavage. Not that we needed to tell you that, of course. We’re sure you already knew.
No word if he went out and purchased the Kim Kardashian sex tape after the cameras stopped rolling or took a cold shower. Hopefully the latter.
As for the rest of the gang, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick stayed behind because they weren’t feeling well, and Rob didn’t show up.
Like no-showed for the flight. Khloe didn’t want to leave Rob behind, but Kylie Jenner threatened to not go on the trip if her big sis bailed on it.
Not wanting to ruin the trip for everyone else, Khloe begrudgingly got on, but she remained worry about Rob, and everyone talked about him.
Seriously, Khloe went for a walk on the beach and tried calling Rob again, but couldn’t get ahold of him. Bruce wondered where he was, too.
He even opined that it would be more fun if he were there, because we didn’t get the hint the previous 29 times Khloe talked about her brother.
Khloe and Rob are famously close, and we know he’s been struggling, but this felt either contrived or like they had to kill time between Kim giving people erections.
We get it … something is up with Rob. If you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians online, you’ll see that the producers really want you to care this week.
Elsewhere, Bruce’s family zip-lining adventure gave us this absolutely incredible Kendall Jenner photo on Instagram, so you can thank him for that.
Kendall Jenner posted this photo to Instagram. It shows off her side boob.
Keeping Up With the Kardashians Season 9 Episode 14 Recap: Brody Jenner Sees Kim Nude!