Last week, Jezebel ran a first person essay from a anonymous mom who regularly smoked pot and had a baby at home she cared for, while high. The mom described how she could focus on her baby and play games with her while high in a way that wasn’t possible after drinking too much. She wrote that she wanted to take the stigma away from marijuana use by parents. It was a funny essay, but this mom’s kid was a baby and her husband was there to pick up the slack. Is she still going to be toking up daily as the kid grows up? It just seemed short-sighted to me.
Yesterday, The Today Show’s blog ran a related story from a 40-something mom to 8 and 6 year-old boys who admitted to smoking pot daily to cope with stress. This mom, who only goes by “Margaret,” went on to call moms who drink too much “pathetic.” It was controversial to say the least, and I really didn’t see how this lady is better or different than moms who drink too much. Here’s part of Today’s story, with more at the source:
Every night, Margaret’s two boys fly into the house after sports practice and flip on the TV, while she races to the kitchen to get dinner cooking. “It’s that tedious witching hour when I feel incredibly frazzled,” says the Tennessee singer/songwriter mom of a 6- and an 8-year-old. But instead of pouring herself a glass or two of merlot, she heads to the standalone garage next to their house for a few puffs of Humboldt Kush, one of the four strains of pot she smokes seven days a week.
The drug helps her keep focus on the giant statue of popsicle sticks she’s building with her kids and relaxes her so she can get through the rest of the night without stressing. “It can make folding a pile of laundry fun,” says Margaret, 45, who asked that we not use her last name for fear of getting in trouble with the law. “If I didn’t smoke, that’d be three piles later in the week.”
Still, she doesn’t flaunt her marijuana use. Her sons aren’t allowed to go into the room where she keeps the drugs locked up, and she hides it from other moms who would keep their kids away if they knew she smoked pot.
“Being judged for doing something nontoxic and totally organic, enjoying a god-given plant, by moms who suck back two bottles of Chardonnay like sports drinks feels like s—,” complains Margaret. “Any hypocrisy is hard to swallow. A drunk mother is pathetic and I often leave parties when I experience other mothers tying one on.”
Margaret isn’t the only pot-smoking mom tired of being judged by moms who religiously drink glasses of wine or “mommy juice.” Recently, one mom stirred up some controversy when she admitted to parenting while stoned in an essay on Jezebel.com. Today, the group Moms for Marijuana International has more than 18,000 likes on Facebook.
“No matter what you use, you shouldn’t be judged if it works for you, you’re productive, and you do no harm,” says Diane Fornbacher, co-vice chair of the Women’s Alliance at NORML, the non-profit lobbying organization working to legalize marijuana. “Marijuana parents aren’t perfect, but they’re far less imperfect than parents who use alcohol irresponsibly. Cannabis can influence people to be nicer to one another. You rarely find a story that says two stoners beat each other up outside of a bar.”
Sharon Letts, a California mom who brewed Cannabis tea for her 16-year-old daughter when she was stricken with pain from fibromyalgia, agrees. “Cannabis takes the edge off your day, in the same way wine does. But it’s not addictive, it is habitual. It doesn’t ruin your body like alcohol. I would much rather see parents using cannabis than alcohol — hands down.”
Of course, pot is illegal and alcohol is legal. Letts and her daughter felt paranoid that the tea’s smell would alert their neighbors. The price for getting caught is high. In some states, moms risk getting arrested and incarcerated, as well as having their kids taken away from them.
“If I wanted to, I could sit with a glass of wine in one hand, a cup of coffee in the other, with a cigarette pressed between my lips, under the influence of prescription narcotics — all the while holding my child in my lap,” says Serra Frank, founding director of Moms for Marijuana and mother of two, ages 9 and 12.
“Everywhere we look our families are bombarded with advertisements for these drugs. Our societies benefit from taxes placed on the manufacture and sale of these drugs. Yet, we can’t make the decision to choose one of the most commonly used drugs, one that has proven to be much safer than all the rest? That’s just not logical.”
Whether a mom chooses wine or pot to take the edge off her day, how she uses the drug is important to consider.
[From The Today Show]
What about being sober around your kid(s)? What about striving to be a good mom by coping with negative feelings instead of blotting them out? Kids who are in grade school totally know when their parents are drunk or high. Kids who are younger than that depend on their parents for basic needs and are getting shafted when their caregivers aren’t all there. I’m not saying that it’s not fine to knock back a few or toke up as a parent, but not every weeknight at the “stressful time” as this mom claims. I do believe that smoking pot is no worse, or better, than drinking. I’m for decriminalization. Different strokes, but why get high all the time and set that example? It’s a slippery slope argument to say “it’s better than the drunk moms.” Maybe it is by some very low standards, but why not focus on your own family and dealing with your own issues without getting blotto? Also, I agree that there’s a huge problem with prescription drug abuse. But again it’s all drugs. Kids need moms who are there for them. This crap should be “recreational,” not daily.